Movie marathon, jom?

Hi korang, what r you up to? Aku plak tgh pk pk movie apa nak tgk kat laptop ni ha. Bosan pula tengah2 malam ni, sementara nak tunggu habis download movie The Little Comedian ni. Hehe. Sebab utama aku download movie ni (Thai ok) sebab Paula Taylor pelakon utama dia. Alaa, celeb Thai yang pena masuk Amazing Race Asia (Season 2). Still tak kenai sapa Paula Taylor, click sini. Paula Taylor. Sumpah sweet and comel gile! Ohmy jatuh cinta den. Hihi.

Comel gile kannnnn?

Hah skg korang dah tengok muka dia. Mestila kenal kan? Comel tak? Aku tahu mesti jawapan korang hot siot awek ni. Lawa nyee. Comel betui.' Betul tak? Hahaha. Eh jauh plak aku melalut. Act nak tgk movie Change Of Plans pasni. Tktau la best ke tak. Tgk jelah.. 

Macam best plak.

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Till next time. Peace.

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IKHSAN tersenyum sendiri sedari tadi, sehingga mengundang rasa pelik Datuk Amirul. Datuk Amirul menanggalkan kaca matanya lalu bersuara. “Kenapa Dengan anak ayah ni? Macam angau je..”Usik Datuk Amirul. Agaknya.. Ikhsan teringatkan Fiona tak?

          Ikhsan tersenyum lagi. Ditatapnya wajah ayahnya tanpa membalas apa-apa. Datuk Amirul semakin hairan. “Ikhsan kenapa ni? Peliklah ayah tengok..”Rungut Datuk Amirul. Sengaja ingin mengorek rahsia anaknya. Sambil itu, cerutnya dinyalakan dan dihisapnya penuh nikmat.

          Ikhsan membetulkan duduknya. Senyumannya makin melebar. “Please stop smiling Ikhsan. Macam orang tak betul ayah tengok. Now tell me whats going on?”
“Ayah betul nak tahu?”Datuk Amirul angguk.

“Ayah janji, jangan terkejut ya.” Ayahnya angguk lagi.

          Ikhsan menarik nafas panjang. “Sebenarnya, Ikhsan dah jumpa Lana.”
“Really? That’s good. Kan ayah dah cakap, sooner or later Ikhsan pasti akan jumpa dia.”

“Betul cakap ayah. Nanti Ikhsan nak jumpa dia semula, nak tuntut penjelasan. Ikhsan yakin, apa yang Lana lakukan selama ini bersebab. Dan Ikhsan mahu tahu apa sebabnya.”
          “Bagus. Bincanglah dengan dia elok-elok ya, nak.”Nasihat Datuk Amirul. Tumpang gembira dengan kegembiraan anaknya. Mahu saja dia bertanya soal hubungannya dengan Fiona, tapi Datuk Amirul membatalkan saja hasratnya itu. Takut mengganggu mood baik Ikhsan.

          “Dia dah jadi peguam sekarang, ayah. Ikhsan bangga dengan dia.”
“Baguslah.. bukan calang-calang ya gadis pujaan Ikhsan ni. Berpelajaran tinggi.”Puji Datuk Amirul. Ikhsan hanya tersengih.

          “One more thing..”Ikhsan menyambung. “Kalau ayah nak tahu, Lana tu kakak Fiona.”Datuk Amirul terkejut. Hampir saja cerut yang dipegangnya itu terjatuh. Dia memandang lama wajah Ikhsan.
“Budak praktikal tu?”
“Yes, ayah. Siang tadi Ikhsan hantarkan dia ke kereta, kakak dia jemput. Rupanya kakak yang dia maksudkan tu, Lana..”

“So Fiona tak cakap apa-apa?”
“Cakap apa pulak?”
“Mana tahu dia cemburu ke.”

          Ikhsan ketawa kecil. “Ayah, Ikhsan dengan Fiona tu kawan jelah. Ikhsan anggap dia macam adik je.”
“Bukan ke.. Ikhsan dengan dia..”
“Ayah jangan nak merepek, kami kawan je. Okey?”
“Hmm..Yalah. Salah sangkaan ayah selama ni.”Datuk Amirul berseloroh sambil diiringi tawa Ikhsan.

“Who the hell is Fiona? Gadis kampung mana lagi mahu mengejar Ikhsan ni? Benarkah dia adik Lana?”Datin Jeslina yang mengintip perbualan anak dan ayah di bilik rehat itu terkejut. Sakit dadanya mendengar perbualan itu. Ikhsan sudah temui Lana! Bangsat!

          Datin Jeslina mengatur langkah ke kamarnya. Dia mengertap bibir geram. Betina garit tu dah muncul semula! Ahh! Pusing kepalanya memikir soal itu. Apatah lagi soal adik Lana, yang rupanya kini bekerja di syarikat mereka. Malah menurut orang kanannya yang turut bekerja di Futuristic Design, hubungan Ikhsan dan Fiona memang rapat.  Katanya, Fiona mungkin menaruh hati pada Ikhsan. Siapalah yang tidak jatuh hati pada anaknya itu, kacak dan ada segalanya.

          Datin Jeslina menyandarkan tubuh di sofa empuk buatan Itali itu. Sakit hati dengan apa yang baru didengari sebentar tadi. Hmm.. Nampaknya dia mesti lakukan sesuatu.

“CIK Fatihah.”Kedengaran suara setiausahanya di interkom. Sememangnya kini dia lebih dikenali sebagai Fatihah, jarang orang memanggilnya dengan nama Lana, kecuali Ikhsan. Ya Ikhsan.

          “Cik Fatihah?”Setiausahanya, Norjuma bersuara lagi.

“Yes. Ada apa Norjuma?”
“Ada orang nak jumpa Cik Fatihah. Lelaki.”
          Fatihah mengerutkan dahi. Dikerling jam. Baru jam 10 pagi. Encik Rashdan, clientnya kata temu janji mereka sekitar jam 3 petang. Masih awal. Fatihah hairan. “Siapa ya? Encik Rashdan?”
“Bukan Cik Fatihah. Kan appointment Encik Rashdan jam 3.”
Habis tu siapa? Fikir Fatihah.

          “Cik Fatihah nak izinkan dia masuk ke? Kalau tak, saya suruh dia balik je.”Suara Norjuma bergema lagi.

“Hmm. Kesian pulak kalau nak halau dia balik. Kejap ya, give me two minutes. Nak kemas meja dulu.”
“Baik Cik Fatihah.”

“ASSALAMUALAIKUM.”

“Waalaikummusalam..”Fatihah mendongak dan dia terkedu, bila melihat wajah lelaki yang amat dirinduinya, kini berada didepan matanya. Yang kini merupakan majikan kepada adiknya.

          “Mengganggu ke?”
“Taklah.. Hah. Duduk lah. Sorry bersepah sikit.”Fatihah agak gugup bila berdepan dengan lelaki yang senantiasa tenang itu. Dipersilakannya Ikhsan duduk dan Ikhsan akur.

          “Ada apa datang office I ni? Lagi satu.. Macam mana you tahu mana office I?”
“Tak susah nak cari, Cik Lana.”Jawab Ikhsan, ringkas. Senyum.

          Fatihah terkedu.

“Lama kita tak jumpa Lana..”
“Ikhsan, ini pejabat. I banyak kerja nak diuruskan. Tak elok kita cerita hal peribadi di sini.”
          “Lana, you ni masih degil seperti dulu kan? Tak pernah berubah.”Usik Ikhsan. Dia menyandarkan tubuhnya dikerusi yang berhadapan dengan Fatihah. Fatihah resah.

          “Kalau niat you nak ungkit kisah lama, lebih baik you balik. I rasa you pun banyak kerja macam I kan? Kita dah takde apa-apa.”
“Semudah tu you cakap Lana?Semudah tu?”Fatihah terdiam.
“You tinggalkan I 8 tahun yang lalu, macam tu aje. You ingat I tak nak tuntut penjelasan?”

          “Penjelasan apa lagi, Ikhsan? I rasa semua dah jelas kan di mata you. Kita tak ditakdirkan bersama.”
“Jangan cepat mengalah, Lana. I dah jumpa you, so sekarang tak mungkin I akan lepaskan you. Now tell me, kenapa you tinggalkan I lepas graduate and then hilang macam tu aje?”Suara Ikhsan tegas tapi tetap lembut.

          Fatihah  menatap wajah Ikhsan yang kian matang itu. Rambut yang dahulu panjang hampir mencecah bahu sudah dipotong pendek dan dahulu wajahnya bersih tanpa jambang kini sudah ditumbuhi jambang. Walaupun agak berserabut, namun tidak Fatihah nafikan Ikhsan kelihatan lebih maskulin. Tubuh yang dahulu agak kurus kini bertambah tegap.

          “Ikhsan. Dengar baik-baik I cakap ni.”Ikhsan mengangguk, tidak sabar menanti kata-kata seterusnya dari mulut Fatihah.

“Antara kita, tak mungkin terjadi. I sedar, siapa I. Di mata mummy you, di mata family you. It’s over Ikhsan. You faham tak? I malas nak serabutkan fikiran I dengan hal macam ni, lebih baik I tumpukan pada kerjaya I. Tolonglah Ikhsan, mungkin lebih baik kalau kita jauhkan diri antara satu sama lain. Kita tak ditakdirkan bersama. I berdoa, you jumpa orang yang lebih baik berbanding I.”ucap Fatihah dalam sebak. Dia tidak berani bertentang mata dengan Ikhsan kala ini.      

          “Lana. I tahu you tak maksudkan sepatah pun apa yang you cakap. Sebab I tahu, you langsung tak berani nak pandang muka I. I rasa I tahu, mesti ni pasal mummy I kan?”Duga Ikhsan. Mungkinkah.. mummy yang mengugut Lana 8 tahun yang lalu agar menjauhkan diri darinya? Tidak mustahil!

          “Dia takde kena mengena.”
“Kalau betul dia takde kena mengena, you cakap tengok muka I!”Keras suara Ikhsan bersuara. Fatihah terkejut. Ikhsan benar-benar hilang sabar.

          “Ikhsan, dia tetap mummy you.”

“Mummy apakah yang sanggup runtuhkan kebahagiaan anak sendiri? Sanggup memisahkan anaknya dengan orang dia paling cintai?”Tergamam Fatihah dibuatnya. Terharu dan sebak pun ada. Ikhsan memang lelaki yang setia, pencinta yang tidak pernah berputus asa.

          “Lana. Janji dengan I, jangan pernah pergi dan lari dari I lagi. Promise me. Soal mummy, I akan uruskan.”
“Ikhsan. I kan dah cakap..”
“Takpe Lana, I beri you masa. Kalau you dah bersedia, call I. I sentiasa ada masa untuk you.”

          Sekali lagi Fatihah terdiam.

“I love you Lana Fatihah. Jangan sesekali you lupakan itu.”Ucap Ikhsan penuh syahdu. Fatihah pula jadi kelu. Ingin sahaja dia membalas ucapan Ikhsan itu, tapi tekaknya bagai tersekat untuk mengeluarkan kata-kata. Pandangan mereka bersatu, pandangan yang hanya mereka berdua mengerti.

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Till next time. Peace.

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Aku atau Dia pt. 5

Lana menguap panjang. Tugasan yang perlu dihantar minggu depan itu perlu disiapkan malam ini juga. Dia terpaksa mengorbankan waktu tidurnya malam ini, semata-mata mahu menyiapkan tugasan terakhir untuk semester akhirnya ini. Dia perlu bekerja keras kerana dia akan menamatkan zaman pengajiannya, tidak lama lagi. Yang pasti, dia akan meninggalkan zaman pengajian ini lebih awal berbanding Ikhsan.

          Rakan-rakan serumah yang lain sudah terlelap. Hanya tinggal Lana seorang, di ruang tamu apartment itu. Lana melihat jam dinding. Sudah menunjukkan angka 1.00 pagi.

          Tatkala melihat kotak berisi donat dan secawan coffee latte di atas meja, Lana tersenyum lebar. Dicapainya coffee itu dan diteguk. Hmm.. Ikhsan ni, tau-tau aje coffee latte ni kegemaran aku. Bisik Lana.

          Ikhsan, lelaki yang dikenalinya setahun yang lalu. Mesra, peramah dan nakal. Ikhsan memang baik, sangat baik. Kerana itulah Lana jatuh cinta pada Ikhsan. Mengambil berat dan cukup prihatin akan dirinya yang jauh dari keluarga.

          Lana tersentak apabila terdengar bunyi deringan telefon bimbitnya. Lana tercari-cari dan akhirnya menjumpai telefon itu dibawah kusyen. Dia mendengus. Siapalah pulak call ni? Ikhsan? Mustahil, kalau waktu begini pasti Ikhsan sudah tidur.

          Private number  tertera di skrin. Berkerut dahi Lana memikirkan siapakah gerangan si pemanggil. “Helo?”Lana bersuara.

“Helo!”Lana terkejut. Kasar suara si pemanggil, mengejutkannya. Suara perempuan pulak tu.

          “Siapa ni?”

“Aku Datin Jeslina. Kau kenal Ikhsan Datuk Amirul?”Lana menelan liur. Gugup. Datin Jeslina? Agaknya inilah mummy Ikhsan, yang selalu diceritakan Ikhsan. Suka mengongkong dan garang orangnya.

          “Dia kawan saya, Datin. Kenapa ya? Ada apa saya boleh bantu?”
“Kau jangan nak berlagak baik. Aku tahu tentang hubungan kau dengan anak aku. Betina, tak sedar diri.”Tergamam Lana dibuatnya. Air mata cuba ditahannya namun menitis jua. Dia memberanikan diri untuk mendengar ujaran Datin Jeslina seterusnya.

          “Aku tahu niat kau. Kau nak pikat Ikhsan sebab duit kan? Sebab harta? Jangan mimpilah perempuan. Ikhsan tu sudah berpunya. Dream on!”Ketawa jahat Datin Jeslina bermaharajalela dihujung talian.

“Lagi sekali aku dapat tahu kau masih rapat dengan Ikhsan, mampus kau. Kau akan kukerjakan! From now on, stay away from him! ”

FATIHAH menarik nafas panjang. Kenangan beberapa tahun lalu menghimpit benaknya. Amaran keras dari Datin Jeslina tidak pernah dilupakannya. Maruahnya seakan tercalar mendengar hinaan dari wanita kaya itu. Kerana itulah, dia tekad menjauhkan diri dari Ikhsan dan seterusnya lenyap terus dari hidup lelaki itu walaupun dihimpit rasa bersalah dan sedih. Sedih kerana terpaksa meninggalkan lelaki yang dicintai, tanpa relanya.

          Fatihah mengeluarkan sekeping gambar  ketika mereka berdua sedang berhibur di taman tema. Kedua-dua mereka nampak bahagia, dan senyuman Ikhsan.. amat dirinduinya. Baru siang tadi dia berpeluang melihat senyuman Ikhsan, setelah sekian lama.

          Pintu bilik diketuk. Fatihah terkejut lalu segera menyembunyikan gambar itu. “Masuklah.”
Terjengul muka Fiona di muka pintu. Dia tersenyum lalu duduk di sebelah kakaknya.

          “Kau nak apa ni?”Fatihah menjegil matanya, sengaja berpura-pura garang terhadap Fiona. Fiona tersenyum kecil. “Kakak.. Kenapa kakak tak pernah cerita kakak kenal Encik Ikhsan tu?”Rengek Fiona. Fatihah terperanjat namun dia berlagak selamba.

          “Kau ni.. Kan kakak dah cakap. Kami baru terjumpa selepas sekian lama. Lagipun, buat apa kakak nak cerita dengan kau?”Senyuman Fiona semakin melebar. “Dia handsome, kan kak?”

          Handsome, sangat handsome. Jawab hati Fatihah. Sayu dan cemburu datang menjengah apabila mendengar adiknya sendiri memuji bekas kekasihnya. “Biasa aje pun.”
“Alah kakak ni.. Handsome macam tu kakak cakap biasa je?”
“Aah la. Jadi nak cakap macam mana lagi?”Rungut Fatihah. Rimas apabila Fiona asyik menjadikan Ikhsan sebagai topik perbualan.

          “Fiona rasa.. Fiona suka dialah kak.” Fatihah terpinga. Benarkah apa yang dikatakan Fiona ini? Adakah dia tersilap dengar? Fiona nampaknya.. sudah jatuh cinta pada Ikhsan. Oh tidak! Lidah Fatihah kelu, tidak mampu berkata apa.


Bersambung..

         

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Till next time. Peace.

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Aku atau Dia pt. 4

“HAI.”Fiona menelan liur. Gugup bila lelaki itu menegurnya ketika dia baru melangkahkan kaki ke dalam lif. Ah! Kekoknya berdua-duaan dengan lelaki yang dianggapnya sombong itu didalam lif ini sekali lagi. Tapi kali ini lelaki ini nampak berbeza. Senyuman tidak lekang dari bibirnya.

          “Hai Tuan.”Pintu lif tertutup dan Ikhsan tertawa. “Janganlah panggil I tuan. I feel old. Panggil Ikhsan cukup.”
“Err.. Okey.”Suasana sepi seketika bila Ikhsan memecahkan kesunyian.

“Macam mana kerja disini? Khairil layan awak dengan baik?”
“Semuanya okey. I suka kerja disini, hasil kerja I juga dapat diterima dengan baik.”
          Ikhsan mengangguk. Dia menghulurkan tangan mahu bersalam. Fiona terpinga-pinga tapi dia menyambutnya juga. “Kita tak berkenalan dengan cara betul kan tempoh hari? I Ikhsan.”Fiona akhirnya menarik nafas lega, kerana niat lelaki itu sebenarnya baik. “I’m Lina Fiona, panggil saja Fiona.”

‘ADA masa kita borak lagi ya.’Fiona tersenyum sendiri mengenangkan perbualan petang tadi. Buat pertama kali lelaki kacak itu mahu berbual dengannya. Malah, baru Fiona sedari senyuman pertama yang dia berikan sudah menambat hati milik gadis muda berusia 21 tahun itu.

          Perbualan singkat sahaja tapi sudah cukup membuatkan Fiona gembira. Ah! Adakah aku sudah jatuh cinta padanya? Fikir Fiona, resah. Asyik dia tersenyum sendiri sehingga tidak menyedari kehadiran kakaknya, Fatihah di dalam bilik. Fatihah mengerling, hairan melihat gelagat Fiona yang seolah tenggelam didalam dunianya sendiri.

          “Ona!”Sergah Fatihah. Fiona tersentak. Hampir saja telefon Blackberry miliknya itu terjatuh di atas lantai. Dadanya diurut beberapa kali menandakan dia terkejut dengan sergahan Fatihah.

          “Kau ni kenapa? Senyum sendiri pulak. Ingat pakwe ke?”
“Hah! Mana ada Ona senyum, kakak ni..”
“Eleh, kakak ni bukannya bodoh Ona. Siapa lagi yang kau teringat ni ha? Tak nak share dengan kakak?”Usik Fatihah lalu disebelah adiknya.

          “Kakak jangan nak mengarutlah..”Fiona cuba mengelak. Dia membaringkan tubuhnya di atas tilam.

“Kakak dari mana ni?”
“Nak ubah topik lah tu.. Kakak dinner dengan client tadi. Dia belanja makan.”
“Kakak menang kes haritu?”Fatihah mengangguk laju. Senyum lebar.

“Tahniah  kak. Ona tahu kakak boleh jadi peguam paling berjaya di Malaysia ni.”Fatihah mencebik, lalu dicubit pipi adiknya yang agak tembam itu. “Kau nak bodek kakak ke ni?”

          “Ona cakap yang betul lah. Kakak ni.. Janganlah! Sakit!”Fiona mengelak cubitan seterusnya dari kakaknya. Dia melarikan diri dan masuk ke dalam bilik air. Tawanya lepas mengenangkan kenakalan kakaknya. Time bekerja memang dia sangat serius, tapi kalau luar waktu kerja, sifat kenakalan dan suka bermain nya akan terserlah.

SEMAKIN hari, hubungan Ikhsan dengan Fiona semakin rapat. Lebih-lebih lagi, mereka selalu terserempak di lif dan makan tengah hari di luar bersama. Itu mengundangkan kemusykilan Datuk Amirul, tapi dia membiarkan sahaja. Sekurang-kurangnya, Fiona mungkin boleh membantu Ikhsan melupakan gadis bernama Lana itu.

          Petang itu, Ikhsan menawarkan diri untuk menghantar Fiona pulang kerana dia tahu kereta Fiona rosak dan masih di bengkel. Seawal jam empat petang dia sudah menanti Fiona di lobi.

“Ikhsan? Awal you keluar?”Fiona agak terkejut melihat kelibat Ikhsan di lobi. Padahal jam baru menunjukkan angka 4 .30 petang.

          “Kerja dah habis. I keluarlah.”
“Oh. Bos takpelah nak keluar awal. Kuli macam I ni kena siapkan semua kerja.”
“Eleh. I pun kuli jugak..”Ikhsan merendah diri, diiringi tawa Fiona.

          “You balik naik apa?”
“Maybe kakak I ambik.”
“Lah.. Buat apa nak susahkan dia? Biar I hantar. Kereta you masih di workshop kan?”
          Hati Fiona berbunga mendengar pelawaan Ikhsan, tapi dia cuba berlagak selamba. Pura-pura menjual mahal. “It’s okaylah Ikhsan. Tak nak lah susahkan you.”
“Apa pulak susahkan, kita kan kawan. Kawan kenalah tolong-menolong.”Ujar Ikhsan, ikhlas.

          Fiona agak serba-salah. Takut mahu menghubungi kakaknya yang pastinya dalam perjalanan.

“Biar I hantar ya?”
“Tapi kakak I maybe dah on the way. Kesian dia terpaksa patah balik pulak.”Kesal Fiona. Terlepas peluangnya mahu menghabiskan masa berdua-duaan dengan jejaka pujaannya ini.

          “Lah ye ke?”Ikhsan bersuara, hampa. “Takpelah. I temankan you sampai dia datang okey. Sementara tu, jom minum kat kafe. I belanja.”
“Ish you ni. Asyik-asyik you yang belanja. Malu pulak.”
“Nak malu apanya. Jomlah! Nanti kalau elaun you dah keluar, baru you belanja I okay. Deal?” Mahu tidak mahu, Fiona terpaksa mengangguk. Akur. Gembira rasa hati dapat berbual dengan Ikhsan sementara menanti kedatangan Fatihah.

FATIHAH menyanyi-nyanyi kecil ketika membelokkan kereta Toyota Alteza kesayangannya ke bangunan indah 15 tingkat milik Futuristic Group. Kagum dengan kejayaan anak Malaysia yang dapat mendirikan syarikat sebesar Futuristic Group yang terkenal di seluruh Malaysia, Indonesia dan  juga Thailand itu. Kalau tidak silap, syarikat itu dimiliki oleh Datuk Amirul, salah seorang ahli perniagaan yang paling disegani di Malaysia. Dan kini, adiknya bekerja di bawah lelaki berpengaruh itu walaupun hanya dalam tempoh praktikal sahaja. Menurut Fiona, lelaki itu tidak sombong malah cukup merendah diri dengan status yang dimiliknya.

          Keretanya diparkir dibawah pokok berdekatan dengan tempat parkir kereta yang disediakan. Matanya melilau mencari kelibat adiknya namun gagal. Pantas telefon dicapai untuk menghubungi Fiona menyatakan dia tiba. Kata Fiona, sebentar lagi dia akan keluar. Fatihah akur dan setia menunggu adiknya didalam kereta.

          Tidak lama kemudian, Fatihah ternampak kelibat Fiona keluar di iringi seorang lelaki segak berkot hitam. Kacak orangnya. Rambut disikat kemas dan juga menyimpan jambang. Lama Fatihah perhatikan, diamatinya wajah itu dalam-dalam. Fatihah terpegun, kerana dia sememangnya mengenali lelaki itu!

“Susah-susah je you hantar I.”
“Lah.. One way jugak kan. Kereta I kat situ je.”
“Oh okay. Thanks ya.”
          Ikhsan mengangguk. Sejenak dia memanjangkan kepalanya melihat siapakah yang berada di tempat pemandu itu. “Come. I kenalkan you dengan kakak I.”

          Fiona memanggil Fatihah supaya keluar dari kereta namun Fatihah keberatan. Dia cuba menolak, tapi akhirnya dia ikut juga. Debaran di dada makin terasa apabila dia lihat riak wajah Ikhsan mulai berubah. Mata mereka berlaga tanpa memedulikan Fiona yang ada bersama.

“Lana?”

“NAK makan apa?”Ikhsan yang sedang memandu tersenyum pada Lana. Lana membalas senyuman lelaki itu. “Saya ikut je.”
“Mana boleh macam tu. Asyik saya je pilih tempat. Awak cakaplah, jangan risau. Saya belanja.”

          Ikhsan menatap sekilas wajah gadis yang amat dicintainya itu. Hubungan antara mereka sudah terjalin hampir setahun. Ikhsan sangat menyayangi hubungan mereka itu, walaupun dia bekerja keras untuk memenangi hati Lana, tapi sekurang-kurangnya kerja kerasnya itu berbaloi.

          Gadis yang tidak suka bergaul itu dan dianggap sombong itu, akhirnya jatuh cinta padanya. Ikhsan berjanji pada dirinya sendiri, tidak akan melepaskan Lana sampai bila-bila.

          “Tuan peguam.. Takkan diam kot?”Usik Ikhsan. Dikuisnya tangan Lana. Lana tersengih. Kalau sudah begitu kata Ikhsan, terpaksalah dia menurut. “Kalau macam tu.. Kenny Rogers lah.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yep. Tak boleh ke?”
“Awak ni. Dah saya suruh awak pilih. Okay. Jom ke Kenny Rogers.”Riang suara Ikhsan sambil mengerling ke arah Lana, manja.

“You kenal sister I?”Fiona hairan melihat reaksi kedua-dua mereka. Keadaan sunyi sepi kerana Fatihah dan Ikhsan seakan tergamam dengan pertemuan yang sememangnya tidak dijangka itu.

“Kakak kenal bos Fiona ni?”Fiona mengalih pandangan pula pada Fatihah. Perlahan-lahan Fatihah mengangguk.

          “Sebenarnya, dia kawan lama I. Terkejut sebab hampir 10 tahun tak jumpa. You apa khabar, Lana?”Ikhsan berpura-pura tenang sambil mengulum senyuman. Salam dihulurkan, dan disambut dengan teragak-agak oleh Fatihah.

          “I’m good. How about you?”
“Macam nilah.. Macam biasa.”Ikhsan berseloroh. Fiona tertawa kecil, Fatihah pula tersenyum hambar.

          “Rupanya Fiona ni adik you. Kecik dunia ni kan.”Sambung Ikhsan. Fiona tersipu-sipu manakala Fatihah ketawa paksa. “Well.. Adik I pekerja yang baik kan?”
“Dia tak kerja bawah I, tapi setakat yang I tahu, dia ni designer yang sangat berbakat. Tak rugi ayah I ambik dia praktikal disini.”

          Fatihah mengangguk-angguk. Dia mengerling jam, resah. Cuba mengelak dari perbualan ini berlanjutan, dia meminta diri. “Kami terpaksa pergi. I ada dinner dengan client nanti. So..”
“Oh okey. Jumpa lagi Fiona, Lana.”Ikhsan mengenyit mata pada Fatihah sebelum beredar menuju ke keretanya. Fatihah menarik nafas lega, sambil diperhatikan oleh Fiona. Pelik dengan tingkah kakak dan bosnya, namun dibiarkannya saja. Yang penting, dia bahagia apabila dilayan mesra oleh Ikhsan. Bahagia!

Bersambung..

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Till next time. Peace.

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Randomness

Beautiful. Bali.

Cikgu pun guna bahasa rojak. Har har.

Its 5am in the morning. And im still here, updating my blog. Don't know what to write, don't know what to do, don't know what to eat. Eh? Confirm tgh lapar ni. Hahahah. Entry kali ni random je, aku tulis je apa aku nak. Ok i heard about earthquake in Bali yesterday, and i feel sorry for them :( Guys, please #prayforBali. Mana tau, nanti nasib kita pulak macam tu, kita mana tahu kan apa yang terjadi di masa akan dtg. *knock on wood* Ya Allah, kau lindungilah kami hambaMu yang lemah ini. Jauhkan benda-benda yang buruk dari terjadi. Amin.. Eh anyway, i still takde job. Sambung study pun belum. Sigh.. Sampai bila la macam ni? Bosan la duduk rumah. Pfft. Aku nak kerjaaaaa. Ada sesapa nak hire aku tak?

p/s : aku suka guna bahasa rojak dalam blog aku ni. Love it or hate it, ini blog aku. Sukahati akulah nak tulis macam mana. Haha. Menulis gunakan Bahasa rojak best apa. Lagipun English aku tak berapa nak ok la. Merendah diri la pulak. (haha) Eh. Off topic dah ni, sorry guys. Rajin2 la lawat blog aku eh.

BAHASA ROJAK : boleh didefinisikan sebagai bahasa campuran antara bahasa Melayu dengan bahasa Inggeris. Biasanya penggunaan bahasa rojak sama ada menggunakan bahasa Inggeris diantara bahasa Melayu dalam ayat atau separuh bahasa Melayu dan separuh bahasa Inggeris. =Manglish.

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Till next time. Peace.

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Yikes.

Two faced people.

i cant stand talam 2 muka' people. Why can't they be themselves ah? Kena jugak berpura-pura baik depan orang, belakang mengata pulak. Benci la orang macamni. Pathetic. Idiot.


P/s :Aku dah ramai jumpa orang macam ni. *Cough* Silalah terasa.

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Till next time. Peace.

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Still waiting.

Bj, i need my cash so badly. Puhless be hurry. Btw, i miss my baby psp already. I hope bj take good care of him. :'(

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Till next time. Peace.

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#SingleLife

Being single is not easy, not easy at all. No one to cuddle with, no one to share everythin with, always feel lonely at night. Dang its sucks to just sit and seeing everyone i know with their couple. I can't seem find the right girl for me, uhh well.. Maybe i should wait. Hmm. To those who alrdy have someone special in their life, you should've feel lucky and take a good care of your partner. Don't ever cheat on them, esp on someone that really loves you. You'll regret it if you do that. Sooner or later. Trust me. Gah.. Maybe it's karma, I have to face it whether I like it or not :( Oh wait.. I gotta go. Takecareuols.


P/s: Sick of love songs, they remind me of how single & lonely i am </3

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Till next time. Peace.

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What is a Balan-balan?

Read the article below to find out what Balan-balan really is.


Do you believe in supernatural or black magic? This story is about a creature that we called Balan-Balan. This creature is actually half human and half ghost. During daytime, they can live like a normal people, but then at night they will go out hunting for food. When I said ‘out’, their head will ‘detach’ from their body and only the head will fly out for food. We are not really sure where they coming from (origin), but they are still famous until now in certain areas in Sabah.
So how can you know whether they are a normal human or not? Well, I’m not really sure how, but from what I heard from the elders, this half-human race, they usually wear something around their neck (like small towel or scarf) to hide the scar around their neck. Well, I was thinking that what if we print a special ID card for them, using the ID card printer, and give them a special badge holder, so that just by looking at their badge holder or ID card, we know they are categorized as half-human race.. 
Then the diet.. it’s quite disgusting because they like to eat blood.. well, not like vampire, but they are more into period blood, placenta or sometimes they will look for a dead newborn baby. I also heard that when they transformed into Balan-balan, they will make this sound (like a female chicken) and they also said that if the sound is not so loud (like it’s far from you) actually it’s just near you and watching you. But if the sound is loud (like it’s near you) it means that the head is far away from you. So, be careful.. But don’t worry, they still have their weakness.. they don’t like lime (any kind of lime) and they also don’t like thorn. So if someday you visit a place and hear the eerie female chicken sound, just prepare with your lime.


I get this article from: Balan-balan (Half Human Race)


Till next time. Peace.

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Till next time. Peace.

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Aku atau Dia pt. 3

BANGUNAN Futuristic Holdings setinggi lima belas tingkat itu kini berada didepan matanya. Malam semalam dia mendapat panggilan dari Datuk Amirul, menyuruhnya datang ke pejabat hari ini tepat jam 9 pagi. Harap-haraplah Datuk Amirul meluluskan permohonan praktikalnya di Futuristic Group. Doa Fiona didalam hati.

            Fiona bergegas ke lif untuk segera naik ke tingkat atas. Namun tanpa disengajakan, Fiona terlanggar seseorang. Lelaki itu tenang sahaja pabila Fiona berkali-kali mengucapkan maaf. Nampak benar lelaki itu berjawatan tinggi di syarikat besar kepunyaan Datuk Amirul ini.

            “It’s okay. So. You nak ke tingkat berapa?”Lelaki itu sudah bersedia mahu menekan butang nombor tingkat. Fiona tersenyum. “Tingkat lima belas. Thank you.” Cukup sopan Fiona mengucapkan terima kasih. Lelaki itu terdiam sejenak lalu mengangguk. Hanya mereka berdua berada didalam lif itu.

            Sempat Fiona memerhati lelaki pendiam itu. Kacak orangnya. Bertubuh sasa dan tinggi lampai. Namun langsung tiada senyuman dibibirnya. Entah kenapa, Fiona merasakan ada sesuatu yang dia rasakan apabila melihat wajah lelaki itu. Hati wanitanya berdegup hebat.

            Tiba di tingkat lima belas, mereka berdua sama-sama keluar. Lelaki itu terus masuk ke dalam, manakala Fiona pergi ke kaunter penyambut tetamu. “Saya ada temu janji dengan Datuk Amirul.” Penyambut tetamu yang memakai nama Elia itu tersenyum. “Datuk Amirul dah lama tunggu, masuklah Cik Fiona.”
Fiona mengangguk lalu mengucapkan terima kasih. Dia terus beredar untuk masuk kedalam pejabat Datuk Amirul.

“WELCOME  Cik Lina Fiona!”Ucap Datuk Amirul sebaik saja Fiona masuk ke dalam pejabat. Kelihatan dua lelaki turut bersama Datuk Amirul di situ. Salah seorangnya ialah lelaki yang dia terlanggar tadi. Lelaki yang cukup lokek dengan senyuman!

            “I tak lambat kan Datuk?”Fiona cuba berbasa-basi. Dia tersenyum lalu bersalam dengan Datuk Amirul dan orang-orang kanannya.

“Taklah. I suka orang macam you. Tepati masa. Well done.”Fiona hanya mampu mengangguk mendengar pujian Datuk Amirul.

            “Duduklah. And by the way, this is my son. Wan Amiruddin Ikhsan. Yang ni pula pengurus besar Futuristic Design, Khairil Anuar.” Khairil Anuar melemparkan senyuman padanya. Tapi lelaki yang dilanggarnya itu langsung tidak senyum! Rupanya anak Datuk Amirul! Patutlah sombong.. Detik hati Fiona.

            Lelaki itu tampak serius sambil berpeluk tubuh. Menanti bicara seterusnya dari mulut ayahnya.

“I nak khabarkan berita gembira untuk you.”
“Apa dia, Datuk?” Fiona tidak sabar-sabar menanti berita gembira yang dimaksudkan Datuk Amirul.

            Senyuman Datuk Amirul semakin melebar.

“Permohonan praktikal awak di Futuristic Design diluluskan. Dan awak diterima bekerja di bawah Encik Khairil Anuar selama tempoh 2 bulan ni.Kalau prestasi awak bagus, awak akan mendapat markah penuh dalam praktikal awak ni. Dan mungkin awak akan diterima bekerja terus di sini selepas awak tamat pengajian akhir tahun ini.”
“Betul ke Datuk? Datuk tak bergurau?”Fiona kelihatan terkejut namun gembira dengan apa yang dikatakan Datuk Amirul. Datuk Amirul mengangguk.

            “Awak setuju bekerja di bawah saya?”Khairil Anuar mencelah. Lelaki berusia 30-an itu tampak peramah. Pasti tidak susah bekerja dibawahnya.

“Saya tiada masalah Encik. Sila beri tunjuk ajar.” Fiona bangun lalu bersalam lagi dengan Datuk Amirul dan Khairil Anuar.

“Terima kasih Datuk kerana berikan saya peluang bekerja disini.”
“Tiada masalah. Lagipun Futuristic Design memerlukan interior designer yang baru buat sementara waktu. Rasanya bila awak boleh mula bekerja?”
“Besok?”
“Okey. Jam 8. Pejabat Futuristic Design di tingkat 10. Jangan tersalah tingkat pula.”Datuk Amirul berseloroh disambut tawa Khairil Anuar. Fiona tersenyum lagi. Gembira! Namun dia berasa geram melihat lelaki yang bernama Ikhsan itu masih seperti tadi. Seperti tidak suka dengan kehadirannya.

“KAKAK!”Jeritan Fiona dihujung talian membuatkan Fatihah menjauhkan sikit gagang telefon dari cuping telinganya. “Kenapa dengan kau ni? Cakaplah elok-elok, tak payah jerit. Kakak nak masuk court kejap lagi ni. You better be fast.”
“Sorrylah kakak. Fiona just nak share good news ni. Fiona dah diterima buat praktikal di Futuristic Holdings!”

“Syarikat besar tu? Alhamdulilah.. Tahniahlah dik! Bila start?”
“Besok. Fiona excited ni nak mula.”Fiona ketawa kecil. Teruja benar dia mahu memulakan hari pertama bekerja di Futuristic Design.

            “Hah. Lepas ni jangan nak main-main dah. Praktikal terakhir kau tu penting. Nanti tak dapat grad, sayang je duit buat belajar selama ni.”
“Fiona tahu kak. Kakak janganlah risau. Fiona takkan hampakan abah, ummi dan kakak. Percaya pada Fiona.”
“Okey. Baguslah kalau macam tu. Kakak dah nak masuk court ni. Kau kalau nak balik tu bawa kereta hati-hati.”
“Yalah kak. Nanti kita jumpa kat rumah.”
“Okey dik. Bye.”

IKHSAN menyandarkan tubuh di sofa empuk yang memang tersedia di pejabatnya itu. Jawatannya sebagai ketua akauntan di usia semuda itu memang cukup mengagumkan sesiapa yang mengenalinya. Ikhsan memang berbakat dan cukup cekap dalam kerjanya. Tidak hairanlah ayahnya sendiri menaruh kepercayaan yang tinggi padanya dalam menguruskan hal kewangan syarikat sebesar Futuristic Holdings itu. Namun sejak akhir-akhir ini prestasi kerjanya agak merosot. Mungkin kerana masalahnya yang dihadapinya akhir-akhir ini dengan mummy. Berkaitan dengan Lana, gadis pujaan hatinya dari dahulu sampai sekarang.

            Daun pintu diketuk. Ikhsan mengeluh. “Siapa tu?”
“Ayah ni.”
“Oh ayah. Masuklah.”Pintu dikuak dan muncul lah Datuk Amirul. Dahinya berkerut melihat keadaan pejabat Ikhsan yang tidak terurus. Fail-fail berselerakan di atas meja, cawan kopi masih belum bercuci, tong sampah penuh dengan sampah dan Ikhsan pula nampak muram, tidak seperti selalu.

            “Ikhsan ada setiausaha kan? Dia tak kemaskan ke pejabat Ikhsan ni? Macam reban ayam je ayah tengok.”
“Ayah ni.. Ikhsan yang tak bagi dia kemas. Ikhsan takde mood nak bekerjalah ayah.”

            Datuk Amirul melepaskan keluhan berat. “Ikhsan ni kenapa? Sejak peristiwa Ikhsan bergaduh dengan mummy, Ikhsan macam takde semangat. Ikhsan jangan macam ni. Ikhsan ni kira orang besar syarikat tau. Hal kewangan semua di tangan Ikhsan. Ikhsan tak boleh main-main. Ayah tak mau terjadi sebarang penyelewengan atau benda-benda yang tak diingini dalam syarikat kita ni.”

            Ikhsan menundukkan kepala. Dia diam membisu. Enggan membalas apa yang dikatakan ayahnya.

“Ikhsan masih sayangkan Lana?”
“Ayah. Ikhsan sentiasa sayangkan Lana. Tak pernah sedetik Ikhsan lupakan Lana.”

            “Ayah mahukan yang terbaik untuk Ikhsan, ayah tak pernah halang Ikhsan kejar apa yang Ikhsan mahu. Kalau dialah yang Ikhsan cari selama ni, Ikhsan jangan putus asa.”

“Mummy..”
“Tahulah ayah nak uruskan mummy tu.”Datuk Amirul mengeluh.

            “Ikhsan tak nak cari Lana?”
“Ikhsan tak tahu nak cari Lana di mana, ayah.”
“Anak lelaki jangan mengalah. Bumi Malaysia ni kecil saja Ikhsan. Insya Allah, kalau betul lah kamu berdua ada jodoh, kamu akan bertemu juga suatu hari nanti.”
“Ayah rasa begitu?”Ikhsan mula rasa yakin. Dia mula rasa bersemangat kembali.
“Ya,anak ayah tak boleh mengalah.”Datuk Amirul memberikan kata-kata semangat kepada anaknya.

            Ikhsan tersenyum. Senyuman yang hilang sejak beberapa hari yang lalu kini kembali di bibirnya. Dia berazam tidak akan membiarkan mummy mengawal hidupnya lagi dan dia bertekad mahu mencari Lana, sehingga dapat! 


Bersambung..

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Till next time. Peace.

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Twitter Trending Topics

Malaysia Trending topics

Worldwide trending topics

It's 4th October, 3:18 AM.  Well.. as you can see, #IcouldDoItOverAgain is the first trending topic WORLDWIDE, for now. Haha, i dont get some of the topics tho. I think its lame. Opss. Just sayin.

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Till next time. Peace.

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say what's in your heart, before it's too late.

What can I say about a girl I loved since I was ten... that I love the way she laughs at me when I commit mistakes, the way she fusses over silly things and even the way she cries over some sad silly late night show...

She was my best friend and I have known her since we were small. She knew all my secrets, which reveals my feelings for her, that I love her not only because she's pretty and smart but also the way she laughs at everything and the way she sees life and love. I could still remember the first time we met; I was five years old then. It was one windy afternoon having no one to play with except for my best friend, Troy. He and his family just moved out to a neighboring state at transfer because his father got promoted. And so I climbed up our tree house, I saw a moving truck coming down the street. I watched it approaching and noticed a family station wagon following it. It stopped in front of the house and out came a family. I was about to glance away when came out the loveliest girl I've ever seen.

She was four years old that time but then even at an early age she was a beauty. She had long curly hair, which reached almost to her waist. She had fair complexion and eyes which could make a man lose his heart into them. I continued to watch her when suddenly she looked up and saw me watching them in the tree house window. I was about to duck when she smiled and waved her hand. I waved back and then watched in amazement as I saw her running towards the tree house. So I went to the edge of the ladder and said, "Would you like to come up?" she answered, "May I?" So I help her climb up and when she reached the top she then turned to me and said, "By the way, my name's Sam, what's yours?" I answered, "My name is Christopher but then you can call me Chris." She smiled and said, "Well I like your name. Hey your tree house's neat!" then I replied, "Thanks! Troy and I made this. This used to be our hide out. We used to goof around, play ball and go biking together. He was my best friend and I kind of miss him you know." She smiled and said "I'm here now, we could do things you do with Troy and I could be your new best friend too. I never had a boy for a friend before so it could be exciting to have one. I could learn how to play ball and I have my bicycle so we could go biking together. Now how does that sound to you?" I smiled and said, "Well that sounds good enough." Then she held her hand and said, "It's a deal then!"

So that's how it started. So we became best friends and it was kind of strange at first for she was a girl and there are things which I was little bit hesitant to indulge her like catching frogs, swimming in the lake and climbing trees, but then she tried and did everything just to please me. There was even a time when she fell off the bike trying to catch up with me in a race we had and I was the one who bandaged her scraped knee. I could still remember the time when she hit the window of our neighbor when we were playing baseball and it was I who talked to Mr. Chambers and promised to pay for the damage, which meant having to loose a week's allowance. I remembered the time when I fell off the tree when I tried to rescue a little kitten because Sam was near to tears when she saw the helpless kitten trapped in a branch. I even fought with the tough guy when they teased Sam and made her cry and I ended up having a black eye and a bruised cheek. I remember Sam crying as she placed an ice bag over the damaged eye and later gave it a get-well kiss. I did everything to please her and gave everything her little heart desires.

The lake was our favorite hang out. We had our Saturday swim routine. We would pack food and later eat them under the big oak tree. There was a special branch in which the two of us could sit together and tell each others dreams. She dreams of being a Ballerina and she knows my dream of becoming a doctor. She never laughs at my dreams and pursuits even if they were quite impossible. It made me like her even more.

As years went by, I noticed that my feelings towards her were slowly changing. Somehow, I thought it was just a simple crush case. But when I started thinking about her at night, dreaming of her and having the feeling of wanting to be with her all the time, I thought it was something different, something that made me feel strange, but then it was exhilarating feeling. It made me feel so alive. Whenever our hands touch, I could feel the tingling sensation in my spine. Once when we were at the lake having our Saturday swim routine and as I carried her towards the water edge, I had the feeling of not wanting to let go. I just wanted that moment to continue hoping it would never end. I then realized I was slowly falling in love with my best friend.

Many times I tried to deny the feeling for I was scared to imagine what would happen if ever I'd try to tell her how I feel about her. I was scared because she might think that I'm taking advantage of her and our friendship. I was afraid of losing her so I just kept my feeling hidden.

We reached the age of fifteen and I noticed that Sam grew lovelier each day. How my heart aches wherever I see boys glance her way. I want to punch their noses as I watch them talking to her giving compliments, flowers and chocolates. There were times when I watch her at a distance with mixed feelings of anger and hurt! Because it hurts so much to know that there were so many things I wanted to tell her but then I could not do so. There were so many presents which I long to give her but then I could not for she might see me only as a friend. I was also scared of letting her know how I feel about her as much as losing her.

Then one day, I just learned from a friend that she already had a boyfriend. At first, I tried to convince myself that it was just a rumor. Her boyfriend was Mark, a popular senior, who was the heartthrob of the campus. She, being the cheerleader was close to the basketball team to which Mark was the captain. When I saw them walking together at the parking lot that afternoon, I watched her with my heart slowly breaking into pieces. I saw her wave at me but I just pretended not to see her for I was scared that she might see in my eyes the pain I'm feeling inside because of seeing her with another guy. Those days that followed where the saddest days of my life. How my heart aches when I see her walk by me with him at her side. Every time we meet in hallways and I see him around her, there's a feeling inside me that makes me want to grab her away from him. How it hurts to see the girl I long possess was now owned by somebody else. That special smile I long for her to cast on me was now casted on him. As she passes by me she doesn't know that I whisper the words "God how I love you."

Then one faithful day they broke up. She came too me that evening crying on my shoulder. They had a big fight and it ended up with their break up. Mixed feelings were scaring me inside. I was happy because she was free and maybe I would have the chance of telling her my true feelings for her but then I was feeling so bad because she is crying her heart out just for him. At that time, I was not quite sure of what I wanted to do.

So we found ourselves doing what we did in old days with our Saturday swim routine, spending time in our tree house. We still enjoyed doing childish pranks for we still are both young at heart. So many chances I had for me to confess my feelings for her but still I couldn't bring myself to her for I was scared of losing her once more. I once lost her, now I could not bear of losing her again by telling her, "I love her". So I just kept my feelings even if it was bursting to be expressed from my aching heart.

It was a week from our JS Prom, we were seated at the branch of an oak tree drying ourselves after our afternoon swim when she said, "I was wondering Chris if you would like to be my partner?" It just got out of my wits for it was like a dream I never thought would happen. It took me awhile to answer her, "I thought there are so many boys who would die for you to be their partner?" So she turned away and quietly said, "Well I just thought I would like to spend that night with my best friend." Then she continued in a whisper I could barely hear, "Don't you want to die just like them to be my partner Chris?" I was too stunned to speak for it came close for me to blurt my feelings for her. We… we're silent for a while until I finally whispered, "I would be happy to be your partner Sam. "The she smiled and suddenly kissed my cheek. I could hardly contain the joy I felt that time. I saw her turned red and bowed her head. Suddenly she stood up and run towards the water saying, "Last one to reach the water treats to sundae fudge!”I ran slowed up so that I would lose which meant having to have her with me for another three hours or more.

Our Prom night came. I bought a new tuxedo and poured almost the entire bottle of perfume. I went to fetch Sam. Sam's mother greeted me and I went to sit in the living room waiting for her to come down. I was talking to her father when I heard her say, "How do I look?" I look up and saw her lovelier than ever in a strapless white dress with her hair flowing around her face. I stood up and opened my mouth but found out I could not find my voice. Then I got her hand shakily fastened the corsage around her wrist and whispered, "To the loveliest girl in the whole world." She then asked, "Is that true?" I nodded and she smiled and I smiled back then I turned to open the door for her. When we arrived at the gymnasium we hardly recognized our classmates. Gone were the jeans and T-shirts. They were replaced with tuxedos and gowns. Then I held out her hand bowed and said, "Would you give me the honor of your first dance?" She laughed and curtseyed. Then I led her to the dance floor. It was like a dream coming true, a moment of enchantment. I was there dancing with the only girl I ever loved. She was smiling up to me, as we were slowly moving in a smooth gliding motion. I found myself lost as I stared down to her sparkling eyes. The curls of her long hair were like waves enhancing her beautiful face. There were so many things I wanted to tell her that moment. I wanted to tell that she was the most beautiful girl that night. I wanted to tell her that she would always be the beacon of light in my darkness, but what I wanted to tell her the most was that I love her. I drew up all my courage and bent to whisper it in her ear but suddenly the music stopped and the magic was gone. I came close to telling her, but still haven't done it.

We walked towards the table and found ourselves surrounded by friends. I asked her if she wanted a drink, she nodded and so I went to get one. It took me a long time to get one and when I returned to our table, she was gone. I asked her friend, Katie, where she was but she told me that she doesn't know. So I went to search for her. As I was searching for her, I reached the garden. There I saw two silhouette figures outlined by the moon's silvery light. They were so close to each other that I could never describe the feeling I had when I recognized the white dress that Sam was wearing that night. I just turned and left the gymnasium.

Since that night, I avoided her. Many times she tried talking to me but I never gave her the chance to do so. I was afraid to hear her say that she loves Mark and not me. I would rather have left in ignorance of her true feelings for me than to hear from those dreaded words and feel my hope crush and my heart break. I didn't return her calls. I would not see her if she comes into our house. In the hallways, as she approaches I would go to another direction. It also hurts to do those things but then I thought that was the best way to forget her. Those months were tormenting but still I kept my pride.

The day of our graduation came. I was planning to take up medicine at a neighboring state and was to move out the next day. As the program ended, she approached me and handed me a rose. As she stared at me, there was something in her eyes I couldn't describe. There was sadness in them and when she smiled it wasn't the same smile she had. I wanted to hug her at that moment, tell her that I love her but then she turned and walked away from me.

So I moved out the next day as I planned. Luckily, I was accepted at the university. I concentrated with my studies but still I think of her at night. I was always wondering if she thinks of me too. I tried hard not to think of her but still I could not stop myself from loving her. Each achievement I have was done for her. I thought that if I will be successful one day, I would be able to tell her that I love her and by that time, I'm worthy of having her.

It was a year after our graduation when I decided to return home and see her again. I thought a year is too much for me not to see her and during the past year I felt like a person lost in the desert and only the sight of her could quench the thirst I have inside. As I got off the plane, I went home directly, desperate to get to her house desperate to see her, to hug her. Then I would tell her that I missed her and that I have loved her for a long time. This time I am determined to let her know my true feelings for her and I could not contain anymore the love I have for her. I reached their house; I saw her elder sister and I approached her. I smiled at her but I noticed she didn't smile back. I was confused for she used to be a cheerful lady just like my dear Sam. I then asked, "Hi Jen! I guess you're surprised why I'm here. Well I just want to visit you and I was also hoping to see Sam. I kind of miss her you know. Mmm… by the way have you seen her?" All I saw was sadness in her eyes as she replied quietly "Come follow me."

I was confused with the way she's acting but still I followed her. As we were walking, I was trying to indulge her in a conversation but she just answered my question briefly. Then I realized that she was leading me to the direction of the lake. It was still the same as I left it, with the same oak tree, Sam and I used to climb up. I smiled upon remembering the kiss Sam gave me when I agreed to be her partner. It's been one of the happiest days in my life and I realized that I missed Sam more than I thought. Then Jen stopped walking and pointed to the tree. She then whispered, "There's Sam."

I looked at where she was pointing and saw a newly dug tomb with the name of the girl I ever loved. I could not believe at what I saw and desperately tried convincing myself that this is all just a nightmare and I would soon wake up. I stared at Jenny in disbelief with her eyes searching for explanations and she slowly started saying, "It has been a week since she died. She died of Leukemia, but even though she was sick, she never stopped thinking about you. It was even your name she uttered before she died. She asked us to bury her here for she always regards this place as a place of LOVE. She said that this is where she had spent the happiest days and that was when she was with you. By the way, she also asked me to give you this." She handed me a parcel and with that she left.

I slowly opened the parcel and saw that it contained the dried orchid from the corsage I gave her for our prom. Then at the bottom I saw a letter. It was dated last month. I opened it with shaking hands and started reading........

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I know… by this time you read this letter I'm gone. I just want to tell you that I feel very lucky and thankful to God that I had a friend like you. I would also like you to know that I had left something inside, something I kept from you all these years. I love you Chris, not in a friendly way but as one who would feel like spending the rest of my life with. I have always loved you even from the start. I guess it just bloomed each day that's why the happiest days of my life was… when you were by my side. You just don't know how I dreamed of you at night and wake up in the morning and dream no more for you were with me. When you were away, I can't stop crying because I was afraid to think that you are with another girl. I just can't bear to see you with another girl. I just want you all to myself. I may sound selfish but that's how I feel.

Each time, you held me close to you, was like a dream coming true, for to be close to you and feel your heart beating next to mine was like heaven. So many things I did so that you will learn to love me but I NEVER saw a hint. I did everything to please you because I love you so much that I even tried to fool myself that you're in love with me too. So many nights I've cried when I think of myself unloved by you. Well you might think that what I'm saying are lies but, I tell you, my heart speaks the truth for I cannot bear telling a lie to the one I love. I know you might be thinking of Mark; but I just did that to make you jealous, to make you see me as a young woman, capable of loving and not as the little girl you used to play with. Sometimes I imagined that you were jealous and fooled myself that it was a sign that you feel something for me too. When Mark and I broke up and I came crying, I just did that to know… how you would react and with that I'll know that you love me too. But I failed for you didn't give me any clue. When our prom night came, you just don't know how happy I was when you handed me the corsage and saying that I was the loveliest girl in the whole world. While we were dancing, I wanted so desperately to hear you say that you love me too but you NEVER did. When Mark came and pleaded me to give him a second chance, I was scared that you might see us talking. I didn't want you to get the wrong impression so I told him we would talk in the garden. There I explained to him that it's you whom I really love.

What happened next was that I found you missing and later learned that you were searching for me, I just concluded that you saw us together. The next day, I tried to explain but then you never gave me a chance to do so. You continuously avoided me and never knew how much pain I've experienced that time. I felt the world crushing on me. In our Graduation day, when I approached you, I wanted to tell you… how much I loved you but I decided that I just couldn't do it. I could not bear to hear that all you feel for me is just brotherly hand of love. For I want you to love me as a woman and not as a girl or playmate. So I just turned away and left.

Now that saying I LOVE YOU might be too late, but still I want you to know that I will always love you and my heart has always been and will be yours alone.

P.S.: Think of me sometimes... and always remember that loving you was the best thing that ever happened in my life.
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I felt my tears falling as I folded the letter. I wanted to shout out to let her know that I love her, if not as much, but more than she did for me. I love her more than anything in this world. I knelt touching the soil of her grave and rain started to fall. I continued crying softly and whispered, "Oh God, send my love to heaven.


source :http://www.loverofsadness.net/show_story.php

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Till next time. Peace.

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I fucking hate my new haircut!

I told her to cut my hair just like Zayn's hair but..

Sumpah menyesal aku pegi potong di salun dekat rumah aku tu. Dahlah cas sampai rm13 takat mintak potong fringe je, fuck lahh! Takmau potong situ lagi, hairstylist trip pro. Fuckahhhhh

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Till next time. Peace.

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